10 Apt Names?

October 6, 2009

10 Medical Profession Aptronyms [Apt-Names]

An aptronym or ‘apt-name’ is a name that fits some aspect of a person whether it’s their occupation or personality. This is also referred to as nominative determinism – the idea that there may be a subconscious compulsion to take up a profession or characteristic linked to your name. The Romans called it ‘nomen est omen’ – your name tells your future.

The New Scientist and its readers have considered the matter many times and provided hundreds of examples including:-

A paper on incontinence written by JW Splatt and D Weedon. Director of penal reform Frances Crook….. Senior researcher for children in foster care Patrick Fagan…. Chief police officers spokesman on knife crime, Alf Hitchcock…. Not so popular UK education minister Ed Balls….. FDA drug certification director of viagra Janet Woodcock …ex Royal Bank of Scotland boss getting a 16 million payoff despite the bank’s collapse, Sir Fred Goodwin.

Psychiatrist Carl Jung wrote “Are these whimsicalities of chance….or are they meaningful coincidences?”

Who knows but there does also seems to be a kind of anti–aptronym whereby really the name could not be more unfortunate e.g. Dr Burns-Cox a UK consultant urologist & Mr Penaisbreath in Australia, both absolutely true – as are apparently the ones below…

  1. Anesthetists:

Dr Mistry – Dr Ether – Dr Comfort – Dr Knapp

  1. Dermatologists:

Dr Spot – Dr Rash – Dr Skinner – Dr Whitehead

  1. Obstetrics & Gynecology:

Dr Wiwi – Dr Beavers – Dr Ono – Dr Vulva – Dr Bush – Dr Kuntz – Dr Love – Dr Storck – Dr Hatch – Dr Heinie – Dr Lipps – Dr Bonnie Beaver – Dr Fingers

  1. Ophthalmologist:

Dr See Wong – Dr Steven I Ball – Dr Kevin Blinder

  1. Orthodontist:

Dr Randall Toothaker – Dr Fillmore – Dr Ken Hurt – Dr Puller – Dr Yankum – Dr Les Plack – Dr De Kay – Dr Nasti – Dr Eke  – Dr Au [pronounced Ow] – Dr Tom Fillar

  1. Psychiatrists:

Dr Strange – Dr Dippy – Dr Moodie – Dr Nutter – Dr Bummer – Dr Looney – Dr Quirk – Dr William Dement – Dr Jules Angst

  1. Pediatricians:

Dr Donald Duckles – Dr Tickles – Dr Kidd – Dr Jelley – Dr Elfman – Dr Bunny – Dr Babey

  1. Neurologist:

Dr Russell Brain – Dr Henry Head

  1. Surgeons:

Dr Mes – Dr Rush – Dr Hackman – Dr Kutteroff –  Dr Slaughter- Dr Mallett – Dr Truluck – Dr Gore – Dr Payne – Dr Risk – Dr Fear – Dr Yell – Dr Savage – Dr Killam – Dr Graves – Dr Stopp [vasectomy specialist] Dr Feinmesser

10.  Urologists / proctologists:

Dr Weiner – Dr Richard [Dick] Finder – Dr Richard Chopp – Dr Richard Tapper – Dr Slocum – Dr Gehrkin –  Dr Whang – Dr Cockburn – Dr Dickoff  – Dr Blank & Dr Seed [fertility specialists] Dr Ima Assman – Dr Hardman – Dr John Thomas – Dr Pokemon

Dr Nicholas Burns-Cox

Source: wordsmith.org u.arizona.edu / maxfaxgp.blogspot.com / slate.msn.com en.wikipedia.org / science-frontiers.com / anorak.co.uk

10 Celebrity Baby Names

October 6, 2009

10 Celebrity Baby Names

Recently someone I know, who’s 40ish changed their name from Lyn a name she’d always hated to Susie a name she likes, fair enough I say and simple enough apparently – it can be done online in a jiffy and for free. However her father who chose her name is not speaking to her anymore and some people she knows still insist on calling her by her ‘real’ name. My point or rather suggestion is, what if we get to officially re-name ourselves at 18 as a kind of ceremony into adulthood, it’s a bizarre thing that lots of us get lumbered with names we don’t like, find embarrassing or that are just plain weird and never change them because we don’t want to offend our parents or behave unusually – when surely all birth names are sort of mini labels that say more about the parents than the child – so how about we get to acceptably re-name ourselves in a way that suits us, including surnames – having just done a list of medical Aptronyms [apt-names] and 50 Really Mad Baby Names – I think there’s a strong case for more of us to go running to the name registry for absolution.

With that in mind here are some high listers from the great minds of celebrities…

1) Seven Sirius

Andre Benjamin. Not too bad in itself but I just keep thinking of the film – the severed head the well you know, I couldn’t live with it.

2) Sage Moonblood

Sly Stallone. Sage is nice but Moonblood what the hell……

3)    Pilot Inspektor

Jason Lee, named after the song “He’s simple, he’s dumb, he’s the pilot.” Oh yeah, and Inspektor?  It looks like a German job title.

4)    Moxie Crimefighter

Penn Jillette. Sounds like some kind of armed elite vigilante.

5) Audio Science

Shannyn Sossamon. Wouldn’t mind taking a degree in it.

6)    Tu Morrow

Rob Morrow. Tu is good Morrow is good – but tugether – no.

7)    Jermajesty

Jermaine Jackson – pretentious moi?

8)  Moon Unit

It’s a girl! – Frank & Gail Zappa, yes that’s Frank and Gail – also parents to Dweezil and Diva Thin Muffin. So got to have the really famous parents – or death.

9) Camera

Arthur Ashe, well that’s photography and film-directing out then.

10) Prince Michael II

Michael Jackson – he may have been a great dad but I personally wouldn’t be pleased with this, being named the same as a parent gets confusing at the best of times but to be named after a sibling that has already been named after the parent – I wouldn’t know where I was.

50 Really Bad Baby Names

September 15, 2009

50 Really Bad Baby Names

I’m all for new original names, to repeat the same set of names over and over would be extremely dull, language evolves names evolve; fabulous keeps us all on our toes. However I do have a couple of misgivings with some people’s choices – like giving names that are ‘funny.’  Yeah; really funny just around about the time you get the munchies and ending at around about the time you take the first slow sip of your morning coffee. Even the best joke in the world is only funny for 5 minutes – ok maybe half an hour – ok maybe every time you relive it with friends & wine – but for a whole life time no.  The other one is names like Unique – not so much the name but the reason, where people say I want my child to have a unique name because they are; now it’s true they are, but so is every child, and so in fact is a snowflake a finger tip a leaf a dog and a sandwich – in fact everything is unique, in fact being unique is the most common thing in the world – here’s some unique baby names for you; Predominant Prevalent Rampant Rife and Widespread.

When we name a child we label them with an expression of who we are not who they are, I once knew a lady called Joy Love, we all called her Misery Arse. My point, some names just do not suit their owners. Maybe the person named Ikea would prefer to be called Habitat, maybe the person named Arsenal would prefer to be called West-Ham and maybe the bloke named Excalibourgh would prefer to be called John. We don’t know so surely it would be better, if we insist on getting all creative is to re-name ourselves Moon Buggy / Popsicle / Crop Circle whatever…. rather than put our children through tortuous embarrassment. To name but a few situations – Morning Registration; Wayne Caird, here. Adora Dix, here. Iona Handcock, here. Then dating – who did you say you were going out with tonight dear? Batman. And Job interview; so Mr Hitler you’d like to work for the National Health Service. These things must be thought through.

And here they are:

NA means requested at registration but somehow not allowed

A. Adolf Hitler, Alka Seltzer, Armani, Arsenal, Avon, Abercrombie

B. Bubba, Baby Jesus, Bread, Babeloffery, Batman, Benson & Hedges, Baby Jesus Queen

C. Candy Barr, Catatonia, Cartier

D. D’Artagnan, Dianionique, Disney

E. Excalibourgh, Entrafemour, Everest, ESPN

F. Female, Free, Freedom, Fexiflossah, Fish&Chips [NA] Friday, Fitch

G. God [NA]

I. Ikea, Iona Handcock, Ivor Dix, Adora Dix

J.  Jackie O, John Thomas

K.  Krapholeanalee, Ken Tucky, Keenan Got Lucy [NA]

L.  Lexus, L’Oreal

M. Mary Christmas, Marijuana Pepsi Jackson, Memory, Maybe Barnes, Mike Hunt

N. Number 16 Bus Shelter, Non-Smo-Kang, Notwithstanding Griswold

O. Oral Sunshine Dust, Octogonrae,

P. Peanut, Puma, Pokemon, Pleasant Titty

R. Russell Prout, Ruby Cox, Rehab, Reality, Redrum, Rusty Dicks

S. Smack Head, Savlon, Snow White, Superman, Scatman, Sex Fruit [NA], Sandy Butts

T. Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, Tarzan, Tinkerbell, Trixiebell, Timberland

U. Usmail, Usnavy, Unlawful, Unique, Urchines Kendall Icy Eight Special K,

V. Violence, Ventura

W. Wayne Caird

X. Xerox

Y. Yeah Detroit [NA]