Top 20 Airplane Squeals

October 9, 2009

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” – G. B. Shaw

So the pilot said to air traffic control and air traffic control said to the pilot ….

1)    Control Tower Flight XXX for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.
Pilot Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?
Control Tower Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?

2)    From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue –

Unknown Aircraft I’m F##king bored.
Control Tower Last aircraft transmitting identify yourself immediately.
Unknown Aircraft I said I was f##king bored, not f##king stupid!

3)    Control Tower Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on frequency 124.7.

Eastern 702 Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway

Control Tower Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?
Continental 635 Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… we’ve already notified our caterers.

4)    Allegedly while taxiing at London’s Gatwick Airport the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming – US Air 2771 where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway. You turned right on Delta. Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D but get it right. Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew she was now shouting hysterically – God! Now you’ve screwed everything up. It’ll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don’t move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that US Air 2771?  – US Air 2771? Yes ma’am the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell very silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone asking: “Wasn’t I married to you once?”

5)    A Difficult LandingThis airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a – ‘Thanks for flying XYZ airline’.

An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard.  In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he

thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for

this little old lady walking with a cane.  She said, ‘Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?’ Why no Ma’am, said the pilot what is it, the little old lady said, ‘Did we land, or were we shot down?’

6)    A BA 747 pilot had waited for takeoff clearance for 45 minutes.  A German 737 was cleared immediately. The BA pilot asked the tower why the German aircraft had been given clearance at once. Before the tower could reply, the German pilot came back with “Because I got up very early this morning and put a towel on the runway.”

7)    It was a sunny day in Korso, Finland and a FinnAir MD-11 was moving towards runway 22L

Finn MD Tower, those photographers should be moved from their place.

Tower They have permission

Fin MD They really should be removed

Tower They really have permission

Fin MD We are lined up on runway 22L. Remove those photographers

Tower For the last time they have permission so will not be removed

Fin MD Tower, Ok then. Will be flying to Beijing and those boys will fly to Korso!

8)    Tower Mission 123, do you have any problems?

Pilot I think I’ve lost my compass

Tower Judging by the way you’re flying you’ve lost the whole instrument panel.

9)    Tower CRX600, are you on course to SUL?

Pilot More or less

Tower So proceed a little more to SUL

10)  Female terminal controller to a male pilot after a lengthy request: “Last time I gave a pilot everything he wanted, I was on antibiotics for three weeks.”

11) Tower ….and for your information you were slightly to the left of the centreline of that approach

Speedbird That’s correct, and my first officer was slightly to the right

12) Tower USA 353 contact Cleveland Centre 135.60


Tower USA 353 contact Cleveland Centre 135.60


Tower USA 353 – you’re just like my wife, you never listen

Pilot Centre, this is USA 553, maybe if you called her by the right name you’d get a better response.

13) Tower FAR 1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an airbus 330 or 340?

Pilot A340 of course

Tower Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me 1000 feet per minute please.

14) Pilot FLX 30 we just have a few gallons of fuel

Tower Please give us your position we don’t see you on the radar

Pilot We are standing at runway 2 and want to know when the fuel truck will come.

15) Washington D.C., Clearance Delivery GAF269, you are cleared to destination Indian Springs via after takeoff radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept J156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept J158, own navigation read back.
GAF 269 Roger German Air Force 269 is cleared to Destination Indian Springs via after takeoff radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept J156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept J158 own navigation and I need another pencil.

16) ATIS stands for ‘Automated Terminal Information Service’ which is a recorded message broadcast at most busy airports. ATIS gives pilots the current wind, air traffic, and runway information and each time the information changes, the broadcast is revised, with each revision being assigned the next letter in the phonetic alphabet. This designation is included in the broadcast, which is identified as, ‘Information Alpha… Bravo, Charlie…etc. At ATIS-equipped airports, pilots are required to listen to the recording prior to contacting Approach Control or the tower and must repeat the ‘Information so-and-so’ identifier when they make their initial radio call.

Scenario: it was night over Las Vegas and ‘Information Hotel’ was current on the ATIS. Mooney 33W wasn’t too sharp, but he didn’t let that stop him from talking to Approach Control.

Approach Mooney 33W, confirm you have ‘Hotel.’

Mooney 33W Uhhhmm, we’re flying into McCarren International. Uhhhmm, we don’t have a hotel room yet.

After that, Approach was laughing too hard to respond. The next several calls went something like this call to United 583 (which didn’t make it any easier to stop laughing)…

Approach United 583, descend to Flight Level 220.

United 583 United 583, down to Flight Level 220. We don’t have a hotel room, either.

17)  Heard from the radio at EFHK (Helsinki, Finland) –  A MD-80 was holding short of runway 22 during the rush-hour.

Tower XXX123, are you ready for immediate?
XXX123 Affirm.
Tower XXX123, roger, cleared for IMMEDIATE takeoff runway 22, wind XXX at XX
XXX123 cleared for immediate 22.

So the MD-80 taxies to a position and stops…

Tower XXX123, you going or not?
XXX123 Yes yes, we’re going in a moment.

Tower If you would had rear-view mirrors in that plane of yours, you would’ve taken off five minutes ago.

18) Tower Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway
AZA Ali345 Taxi 26 Left A via Tango. Workers checked – all are working.

19) Aurora Moncton, TRIALS08 we’ll be working VFR at 4,500, loitering over the city of Saint John for about the next 10-15 minutes. We’d like radar flight following.
CZQM TRIALS08 roger your radar identified. Are you aware the city has bylaws against loitering?

Aurora Ah… roger that.

20) Leaving Palo Alto one Friday. A Citabria had just landed…

PAO 85 Uniform, Taxi to position and hold.

XX Position and hold, 85 Uniform.

Citabria Umm, Tower, there’s a dead seagull on the right side of the runway near the windsock.

PAO Roger. 85 Uniform, cleared for takeoff. Watch for a dead seagull on the right side of the runway.

XX 85 Uniform, Dead seagull traffic in sight.

A little later, the Citabria was downwind when heard:

PAO Citabria 123, cleared to land 30. Caution – there’s a buzzard trying to eat the seagull on the runway.

10 quotes from serial killers who on conviction really didn’t seem to bother themselves with any remorse or at least it appears that way.

Charles Manson

Charles Manson

1) Remorse for what? You people have done everything in the world to me. Doesn’t that give me equal right?

Charles Manson 1934 to date. Described as a career criminal, currently serving life in a Californian prison. Manson was convicted for murdering 2 men [in 1972] and for conspiracy to commit in the infamous Tate-La Bianca murders.  With an IQ of 109 and an apparent ‘intense need to call attention to himself’ he is a self proclaimed deistic figure with an apocalyptic vision. Manson attracted followers labelled ‘the family’ who he told he would protect during the up and coming Armageddon. Some of this family were convicted of carrying out the Tate-La Bianca murders. Manson apparently intrigues a lot of people as he receives 50,000 letters a year.

Ted Bundy

Ted Bundy

2) You feel the last bit of breath leaving their body. You’re looking into their eyes. A person in that situation is God.

Ted Bundy1946 -1989 Bundy admitted to killing 30 women. He was generally described as an intelligent articulate and good looking young man with a promising future ahead of him.  Instead he spent 4 years murdering women by breaking into their homes or luring them to their deaths by disguise . In the last interview before his execution he cited violent hard core pornography as a contributory factor for his actions and expressed concern for its continuing evolution and availability.

Albert Fish Pelvis with needles

Albert Fish- pelvis with needles

3) None of us are saints.

Albert Fish 1870 – 1936.  Fish said he had killed around 23 people. He apparently had an array of ‘disorders’ and was judged to be “disturbed but sane” by a psychiatrist prior to any convictions. Fish murdered then ate his victims, and at his trial professed that he heard the voice of God telling him to kill children. He was sentenced to death by electric chair for killing three. Known to be fond of self harm he is claimed to have said that being electrocuted would be “the supreme thrill.”

Carl Panzram

Carl Panzram

4) In my lifetime I have broken every law that was ever made by both man and God…if either had made more I should have cheerfully broken them also.

Carl Panzram 1891 – 1930. Panzram was first arrested at 9, then at 11 he went to a child detention center, after joining the army he went on to their prison. Shortly after release he was imprisoned again and escaped; by then he claimed to have killed 20 people. From here he went to prison for theft where he said he would murder the first person who annoyed him which he did, and for which he was sentenced to death by hanging. Apparently delighted with this he refused to appeal and even threatened to kill any human rights people who tried to intervene. His last words were “hurry it up you Hoosier bastard, I could kill 10 men while you’re fooling around.”

Dennis Neilson

Dennis Nilson

5) I don’t lose sleep over what I’ve done or have nightmares about it.

Dennis Nilsen1943 to date. Dennis Nilsen killed at least 15 men the motivation for which is said to be that after a series of failed relationships, he sought somebody that wouldn’t leave. Nilsen was caught due to in his attempt to dispose of rotting corpses; he inadvertently blocked the drainage system in his block of flats causing a terrible smell. Authorities including Human Rights have had a tough time in deciding on matters re Nilsen – from providing him with homosexual pornography, allowing the publication of his autobiography and the issue of a possible release date.

Peter Sutcliffe

Peter Sutcliffe

6) The women I killed were filth-bastard prostitutes who were littering the streets. I was just cleaning up the place a bit.

Peter Sutcliffe 1946 to date. Dubbed the Yorkshire Ripper, Sutcliffe confessed to killing 13 women and assaulting 7 within a period of 5 years in the North of England. Since his conviction in 1981 the police were heavily criticised for their apparent incompetence, the basis of this is that they relied heavily on evidence from a hoax. Forensics had found that the killer of one victim was a blood type B-secretor – 6% of the male population; on examining letters from this hoax they found that he was also blood type B [saliva on envelope] therefore when the hoaxer sent a tape with a ‘Geordie’ accent claiming to be the killer, investigators were told to eliminate suspects without certain criteria including this accent and blood type B. Sutcliffe was interviewed at least 9 times in connection with the killings but as he did not meet the criteria it never led to a more thorough investigation. Sutcliffe was finally caught on a routine matter and later confessed. He does not have a Geordie accent or is he a blood type B secretor.

Richard Ramirez

Richard Ramirez

7) Big deal, death always came with the territory. See you in Disneyland.

Richard Ramirez 1960 to date. In 1989 Ramirez was convicted of 67 felonies including 14 murders he is currently on death row in a Californian prison. A well liked child he was possibly affected by his cousin Mike, a psychopath who amongst other things shot his wife in the head whilst Ramirez aged 11 was present. After this he seemed to change and gradually began to take an increasing interest in the darker side of life including hard drugs and satan.  In 1985 he began a 6 month killing spree – unpredictable in victim selection and M.O. he was difficult to track down. Eventually a surviving victim saw what car he was driving giving the police and public the name and face of the killer dubbed the Night Stalker, within 24 hours  Ramirez was identified by a shopkeeper leading to his ‘mob’ capture and arrest.

Albert De Salvo

Albert De Salvo

It wasn’t as dark and scary as it sounds. I had a lot of fun….killing people is a funny experience.

Albert De Salvo 1931 – 1973 Dubbed the Boston Strangler De Salvo was in detention waiting for trial on a series of sexual assaults when he confided to another inmate that he had killed 13 women in Boston. After confessing to police they investigated further and although De Salvo was able to give some details of the killings he was not positively identified by a surviving victim or from eye witnesses. There was also speculation that the killings were the work of more than one man due to the differences in M.O. Whether he was the Boston Strangler or not is still uncertain as he was given life for his previous crimes and never stood trial for the Boston Killings. Alternative theories suggest that the man he allegedly confided in – George Nassar – was himself the Boston Strangler. De Salvo was murdered by ‘unknown’ in Walpole State Prison.

Robert Clifford Olson

Robert Clifford Olson

9) If I gave a shit about the parents I wouldn’t have killed the kid.

Robert Clifford Olson 1940 to date. Supposedly labelled by experts as the ‘quintessential psychopath’ in 1982 Olson was convicted of killing 11 children in a 9 month period. He was known to authorities having been arrested umpteen times in his life, and as a police informer. On his final arrest which connected him directly with one missing child Olson put a deal to the police that he would give the names and details of 11 children if they gave his wife $10,000 for each child he identified as murdered by him and one freebie = $100,000. A trust for his wife was set up,  the deal authorized by the Attorney General of British Columbia and monies transferred.

Ian & Myra

Ian & Myra

10) Contrary to popular misconception the so called Moors Murders were merely an existential exercise of just over a year, which was concluded in December 1964.

Ian Brady 1938 to date.  Brady is known for his role in the so called Moors Murders with his accomplice Myra Hindley. Brady was convicted of killing 3 children although he claimed to have killed 10. Hindley was convicted of killing 2 both were given life sentences. Brady’s philosophy on life was said to be one that championed cruelty & torture, and the idea that superior creatures had the right to control and destroy weaker ones. On his relationship with Hindley he said “….. before we met my criminal activities had been primarily mercenary. Afterwards, a duality of motivation developed. Existential philosophy melded with the spirituality of death and became predominant. We experimented with the concept of total possibility……apart our futures would have taken radically divergent courses.” Hindley died in 2001. Brady has failed several legal attempts to starve himself to death.

Source Serial

15 Hitler Quotes

October 7, 2009

Psychopaths lack empathy and guilt, are egocentric and impulsive, and do not conform to social, moral and legal norms. Psychopaths often follow a distinct set of rules in which they have created for themselves rather than following social norms set in place by society. They may appear to be quite normal and often even charming, a state of adaptation that psychiatrist Hervey Cleckley named the “mask of sanity”.

Does that describe Hitler?  Well I think it’s possible. I choose these quotes out of the vastness to show how he believed in himself as utterly moral and the others for their chilling likeness to what conspiracy theorists are telling us is happening now.

I. I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator.

2.How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don’t think.

3. Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.

4. I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature.

5. Universal education is the most corroding and disintegrating poison that liberalism has ever invented for its own destruction.

6. The great masses of the people will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.

7. Sooner will a camel pass through a needle’s eye than a great man be “discovered” by an election.

8. All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach.

9. Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.”

10. The leader of genius must have the ability to make opponents appear as if they belonged to one category.

11. The art of leadership consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split that up.

12. And I can fight only for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know.

13. It matters not whether these weapons of ours are humane: if they gain us our freedom, they are justified before our conscience and before our God.

14. I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.

15. Great liars are also great magicians.

a hitler dead


Ideas opposing the death penalty….

1)     Concerning the claim of justice for the victim’s family, I say there is no amount of retaliatory deaths that would compensate to me the inestimable value of my daughter’s life, nor would they restore her to my arms. To say that the death of any other person would be just retribution is to insult the immeasurable worth of our loved ones who are victims. We cannot put a price on their lives. That kind of justice would only dehumanize and degrade us because it legitimates an animal instinct for gut-level blood thirsty revenge…. In my case, my own daughter was such a gift of joy and sweetness and beauty, that to kill someone in her name would have been to violate and profane the goodness of her life; the idea is offensive and repulsive to me.

Marietta Jaeger, whose 7 year-old daughter Susie was kidnapped and murdered in the US in 1973.

2)     Can the state, which represents the whole of society and has the duty of protecting society, fulfill that duty by lowering itself to the level of the murderer, and treating him as he treated others? The forfeiture of life is too absolute, too irreversible, for one human being to inflict it on another, even when backed by legal process. And I believe that future generations, throughout the world, will come to agree.

Kofi Annan, Ghanaian diplomat and Secretary General of the United Nations 1997 -2007.

3)     Judicial execution can never cancel or remove the atrocity it seeks to punish; it can only add a second atrocity to the original one… So long as one sees killing as wrong there is no need to waste time with the deterrent argument, since it would be nonsense to try to prevent a theoretical evil in the future by perpetrating an actual one in the present.

Auberon Waugh, 20th Century British author & journalist

4)     The death penalty is wrong. It is inhuman. It is degrading. It is an atavist relict of a pre-civilized past in which justice was dispensed with a sword, to avenge, never to prevent. To kill, not to heal. The death penalty does not deter violence. It perpetuates it. It does not do justice, it denies it. The death penalty violates human rights, in a ruthless, absolute and irreversible manner.

Lord Russell-Johnston, British President of the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe 2001

5)     There is a very broad theory that society gets the right to hang, as the individual gets the right to defend himself. Suppose she does; there are certain principles which limit this right. Society has got the murderer within four walls; he never can do any more harm. Has society any need to take that man’s life to protect itself? If any society has only the right that the individual has, she has no right to inflict the penalty of death, because she can effectually restrain the individual from ever again committing his offence.

Wendell Phillips, 19th Century US lawyer & politician

6)     People who are well represented at trial do not get the death penalty … I have yet to see a death case among the dozens coming to the Supreme Court, on eve-of-execution stay applications, in which the defendant was well represented at trial.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, U.S. Supreme Court Justice 2001

7)     From this day forward, I no longer shall tinker with the machinery of death. For more than 20 years I have endeavored…to develop…rules that would lend more than the mere appearance of fairness to the death penalty endeavor…Rather than continue to coddle the court’s delusion that the desired level of fairness has been achieved…I feel…obligated simply to concede that the death penalty experiment has failed

Justice Blackmun, Supreme Court Justice quoted in1994

8)     Nothing would be lost if death penalty statutes were repealed… The process is so fatally flawed that the only solution lies in abolishing capital punishment. Most nations with which we share a common heritage have already taken this step. The relatives of the victim have the right to demand swift and sure punishment, but they do not have the right to demand death when the process is so severely flawed.

Charles B Blackmar, former senior judge of Missouri’s Supreme Court 2003

9)     With every cell of my being, and with every fiber of my memory, I oppose the death penalty in all forms….I do not believe any civilized society should be at the service of death. I don’t think it’s human to become an Angel of Death.

Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, Nobel Peace Prize winner in 1986

10)  Those resources could be spent in better ways if death eligible killers were sentenced to life without parole. Law enforcement programs that work might have prevented the tragedies we suffered at only a fraction of the cost. A legal system free from the resource drain of the capital punishment system could find, prosecute, and sentence countless other criminals and even take dangerous people of the streets before they commit murder.

An extract taken from a letter sent to Montana House of Representatives signed by 35 families of murder victims seeking for the death penalty to be replaced by life without parole. March 2009.

10 Stats on the DP

Some ideas put forward in support of the death penalty both recent and historic…

1. While the evidence tells me that the death penalty does little to deter crime, I believe there are some crimes–mass murder, the rape and murder of a child so heinous that the community is justified in expressing the full measure of its outrage by meting out the ultimate punishment. On the other hand, the way capital cases were tried in Illinois at the time was so rife with error, questionable police tactics, racial bias, and shoddy lawyering, that 13 death row inmates had been exonerated

Barack Obama President US 2009 to date – The Audacity of Hope 2006

2. If an offender has committed murder, he must die. In this case, no possible substitute can satisfy justice. For there is no parallel between death and even the most miserable life, so that there is no equality of crime and retribution unless the perpetrator is judicially put to death.

Immanuel Kant, 18th Century German philosopher.

3.  All grandeur, all power, and all subordination to authority rests on the executioner: he is the horror and the bond of human association. Remove this incomprehensible agent from the world and at that very moment order gives way to chaos, thrones topple and society disappears.

Joseph De Maistre, 19th Century French diplomat & philosopher.

4.  Personally have always voted for the death penalty because I believe that people who go out prepared to take the lives of other people forfeit their own right to live. I believe that that death penalty should be used only very rarely, but I believe that no-one should go out certain that no matter how cruel, how vicious, how hideous their murder, they themselves will not suffer the death penalty.

Margaret Thatcher, Prime Minister UK 1979 -1990

5.  If we execute murderers and there is in fact no deterrent effect, we have killed a bunch of murderers. If we fail to execute murderers, and doing so would in fact have deterred other murders, we have allowed the killing of innocent victims. I would much rather risk the former. This, to me, is not a tough call…..All over the country news stories bemoan and hype the countdown to execution number 1000, but where are the stories regarding the ripple effect of the heinous crimes that these murderers were executed for committing?

John C McAdams, 2009 associate Professor of Political Science. Marquette University US.

6.  If Capital Punishment is state sponsored murder, then any lesser punishment is a state sponsored murder of Justice…. It is Justice, not Laws that cures the society. And Capital Punishment is the only Justice that suits a murderer.

Saqib Ali, Democrat State Delegate, Maryland, 2006 to date

7.  I have also seen it stated that Capital punishment is murder in its worst form. I should like to know upon what principle of human society these assertions are based and justified.

Benjamin Tucker, a leading proponent of American individualist anarchism in the 19th century.

8.  In the New Testament God directs the government to strike the criminal with terror, wrath and vengeance without mercy. Watch in amazement as you see that Jesus commanded the death penalty! And the Apostle Paul said he did not object to capital punishment. Then see other Bible characters directly affirm the death penalty.

Bob Enyart, US Pastor promoting his DVD God and the Death Penalty. 2009

9.  I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Bill Mayer, TV host, standup comedian and political commentator.

10. The American people have determined that the good to be derived from capital punishment in deterrence and perhaps most of all in the meting out of condign justice for horrible crimes — outweighs the risk of error. It is no proper part of the business of this court, or of its justices, to second-guess that judgment, much less to impugn it before the world …

A single case—not one—in which it is clear that a person was executed for a crime he did not commit. If such an event had occurred in recent years, we would not have to hunt for it; the innocent’s name would be shouted from the rooftops.

Antonin Scalia, US Supreme Court Justice, 2006 Scalia regarding questions of uncertainty about innocent people being sentenced to death by the modern judicial system.

10 Stats on the Death Penalty