10 Airplane Titters

October 9, 2009

This is from pilotfriends.com ….

Apparently, after every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet’, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.  The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ Pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

1) Pilots: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

2) Pilots: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

3) Pilots: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

4) Pilots: Dead bugs on windshield.

Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

5) Pilots: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

Engineers: Evidence removed.

6) Pilots: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That’s what they’re for.

7) Pilots: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you’re right.

8 ) Pilots: Number 3 engine missing.

Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

9) Pilots: Aircraft handles funny.

Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

10) Pilots: Target radar hums

Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

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